Table Reads

Two men read screenplays that never made it to the big screen. Some of these screenplays were works by these two and some are professional works that just never made it.
 
The one unifying characteristic of all of these scripts is that they're BAD. As such, this podcast is about more than just reading scripts, these two brave microphone jockeys also tirelessly mock the things they read, often with the help of their friends.

Hosted by: Patrick Duffy • Shawn McBee

Produced by: Patrick Duffy


Table Reads

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Table Reads Ep. 62: The Six Million Dollar Man, Part 3

Released on Tuesday, September 19th 2017 @ 12:00AM

Who'd believe that we're finally getting to the "Good" (Finger Quotes) part of the script...you know, the part where Steve Austin actually gets to enjoy his new body!

Steve has a little fun, gets into a tight spot...and not unlike any other action screenplay, gets into a little trouble!

SUBSCRIBE TO THIS THING. And check out RogueIntel.com for other great podcasts. And remember: We're your real father.

 

Table Reads Ep. 61: The Six Million Dollar Man, Part 2

Released on Tuesday, September 12th 2017 @ 12:24AM

Following the not-at-all-seen-from-a-million-miles-away tragic crash of Col. Steve Austin, he wakes to find himself a little the worse for wear, much in the same way that Anakin Skywalker was a little the worse for wear after his fight with Obi Wan on that weird volcano planet. 

What were we talking about? OH, YEAH!

So, you'll never guess who the government decides to use for their super-secret bionics program. Never in a millio--oh, yeah. How'd you guess? Damn, you're good!

SUBSCRIBE TO THIS THING. And check out RogueIntel.com for other great podcasts. And remember: We're your real father.

 

Table Reads Ep. 60: Six Million Dollar Man, Part 1

Released on Tuesday, August 29th 2017 @ 12:20PM

Meet Steve Austin, the non-wrestlingest test pilot in the world! And he know's his fiancee! (They've spent some time together). How does he fit with robot-crushing, data-downloading ninjas? Um. Okay, you don't find that out in this part. Sorry. BUT YOU"LL WANT TO KNOW, so HAHA, we trapped you.

Also, this episode Shawn welcomes a new co-host in Patrick Duffy! No, not the guy from Step By Step, even better... the guy from Prime, on the Rogue Intel Podcast Network!

Subscribe to this podcast to make sure you get it right away every week. And, if you'd like to read the script with us (or on your own), head to tablereadspodcast.com, where you can download this and every script we read. FOR FREE.

...The things we do for you people...

 

Kevin Smith's Six Million Dollar Man

 

Table Reads Ep. 59: James Cameron's Spider-Man, Part 5 (Finale!)

Released on Tuesday, August 1st 2017 @ 6:23PM

This is the moment you've all been waiting for: the end of the stupid James Cameron Spider-Man script from hell! It's been a long, strange trip down megalomania lane with "Professor" Octopus, A.K.A. "The Real Spider-Man" and everyone's favorite wall-crawler. 

We're not going to even discuss the batshit insanity that happens in this final installment because it must just be heard to be not believed. Needless to say, it's basically the Batman and Robin of the Spider-Man franchise, except nowhere near as good or believable. 

And remember, if you'd like to read the script on your own, all our scripts are available HERE.

Subscribe, or we'll hire James Cameron to adapt YOUR life into a movie!

 

Table Reads Ep. 58: James Cameron's Spider-Man, Part 4

Released on Tuesday, July 25th 2017 @ 10:07AM

In this, the penultimate part of James Cameron's Spider-Man, Spidey proves himself SO BAD at maintaining his secret identity that even with a full face mask, his disguise is less convincing than Clark Kent's glasses. 

Beyond that, Liz and Aunt May have a Bechdel test-failing conversation, Plutonium turns out to be pretty easy to get your hands on, and traffic out of New York continues to be the real menace of the Big Apple.

PLEASE NOTE: We do not make any money off this podcast. But when people listen, it validates our sad, sad lives. Be a hero: SUBSCRIBE

 

Table Reads Ep. 57: James Cameron's Spider-Man, Part 3

Released on Monday, July 17th 2017 @ 11:35PM

As Halloween comes about at Empire State University, find out what the hot costumes are this year (1993)! Learn about J. Jonah Jameson's amazing photo reconstruction powers! Find out just how little protection a cinched robe offers against gunshots! Marvel (HA!) at Spider-Man's complete inability to mourn his departed loved ones! And finally, witness the first full-on confrontation between Doctor Octopus and the Amazing Spider-Man! All on this week's thrilling episiode of Table Reads!

Of course, when new episodes post, you want to be among the first to receive them, so don't forget to subscribe, or we'll hire James Cameron to write a toast for your wedding!

 

Table Reads Ep. 56: James Cameron's Spider-Man, Part 2

Released on Friday, July 7th 2017 @ 8:00PM

Picking up after Prof. Octavius' totally preventable lab accident, things kick into top gear as Peter finds himself tussling with the same spider that gave Ock so much grief and quickly discovering that he is a wrestler. 

Meanwhile, Doc Ock is in the hospital, unconscious... so we have to wait until the middle of the episode to hear him mutter "Okey...Dokey!" 

Also, I think Aunt May has Alzheimers. That bitch is battier than a Gotham Billionaire. Oh, and Peter is the WORST at maintaining his secret identity. So much so that I don't even feel bad calling him Peter. 

You don't want to miss the rest of this script, so subscribe! And if you want to read it yourself, you can download it for free at http://tablereadspodcast.com/scripts.html

We love you.

 

Table Reads Ep. 55: James Cameron's Spider-Man, Part 1

Released on Tuesday, July 4th 2017 @ 12:22AM

James Cameron's Spider Sense tingling

In 1993, James Cameron took a pretty decent script for a Spider-Man film, gave it his magic touch and then turned in one of the worst scripts ever written! 

In this first part, we meet a demented college professor obsessed with destroying the universe... BEFORE he becomes a supervillain! We also meet Peter Parker, a hapless college student who has no luck with the ladies! Joining them are some girls, a jock, a nerdy friend, a completely unimportant spider, and some university administrators. And SOMEONE gets bitten by a Spider in a science experiment! YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHO! (no, really). 

If you want to be sure you don't miss a single part of this 5-part epic, subscribe to this podcast on the podcast platform of your choosing!

 

Table Reads Ep. 54: Roger Rabbit 2: Toon Patrol, Part 5 (FINALE)

Released on Monday, June 26th 2017 @ 7:20PM

It's an action-packed finale as Roger, Jessica, Richie and a calvacade of Toons take on the Nazis and try to save the Allied leaders from a nefarious plot! Will we win the war? Will Roger and Jessica live happily ever after? Will Roger ever find his real mother? HINT: All these questions have the same answer. 

We at Table Reads would like to once again give screenwriter Nat Mauldin massive kudos for such a funny, well-executed script. Our normal fare is mockery, but this script is beyond good; it is a masterwork, a great addition to the Roger Rabbit mythos with a true love of cartoon apparent in every scene. Thanks, Nat. 

If you liked this episode: don't get used to it. We're back to reading bad scripts next week! But if you like THOSE, subscribe! We're on iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher, etc.

 

Table Reads Ep. 53: Roger Rabbit 2: Toon Patrol, Part 4

Released on Tuesday, June 20th 2017 @ 6:13PM

In part 4 of the too-good-not-to-have-been-made Roger Rabbit 2: Toon Patrol, our brave, ink-based heroes (and their human friends) are fully engaged in war against the Nazis, fighting for love, and up against a nefarious plot to kill the leaders of the Allied Forces! Meanwhile, Shawn and Trevor keep hoping for something to make this script bad enough to be worthy of this show, but are disappointed as it just keeps being excellent!

If you want more good scripts like this one, there's probably a podcast out there for you. But if you want a podcast where good content is a fluke, leaving the hosts to mock utter garbage on most episodes, then you should go ahead and subscribe, because that's what's on offer here!

 

From the Forum

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Friends of Rogue Intel: The Earth Collective - Perhaps the next best thing to Firefly!

Greetings from the Rogue Intel HQ.  Duff here.  We've had Mike Troup on the Prime podcast before, but wanted to make a special mention of his podcast: The Earth Collective.

The Podcast

The Earth Collective is an epic story, told through the eyes of... read more

Episode 1

What did You guys think of Episode One?

I'm already at work on episode Two, but what do you want to see going forward?

 

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