Table Reads

Two assholes read screenplays that never made it to the big screen. Some of these screenplays were works by these two and some are professional works that just never made it.
 
The one unifying characteristic of all of these scripts is that they're BAD. As such, this podcast is about more than just reading scripts, these two brave microphone jockeys also tirelessly mock the things they read, often with the help of their friends.

Hosted by: Trevor Thompson • Shawn McBee

Produced by: Trevor Thompson


Table Reads

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Table Reads ep. 33 - Beetlejuice Goes Hawaiian, Part 1

Released on Wednesday, January 25th 2017 @ 12:14PM

Okay, we promised you a new original script this week, but things didn’t work out with scheduling. So, instead, we bring you one we have been ITCHING to do! That’s right, the never-to-be sequel: Beetlejuice Goes Hawaiian! Really, the title says it all.  For this script, Shawn and Trevor are joined by real human girl, Kelly Leveille (no more terrible falsettos!). Come marvel at the amazingly poor writing of Jonathan Gems, screenwriter for Mars Attacks.

 

Table Reads Ep. 32 - Streets of Amber SPEED READ!

Released on Tuesday, January 17th 2017 @ 6:00AM

The last Speed Read for a while (barring some unforeseen issue), we present to you what would have been a touching and thought-proving piece of drivel, had it ever been completed. This is another unfinished script by Shawn, who once again proves that he’s better than Trevor at totally failing to finish a script! Also, it was Shawn’s birthday two days ago! What do you mean, you forgot to get him a present? All he wanted was for you to SUBSCRIBE! Better do it now. Better late than never.

 

Table Reads Ep. 31 - Speaking of Quinn SPEED READ!

Released on Tuesday, January 10th 2017 @ 6:00AM

As we work diligently to get more full episodes ready for your voracious consumption, this week we’re bringing you another Speed Read… this time, it’s a script written by Shawn. Rather, it’s a script that Shawn got an entire PAGE into before abandoning. And boy, is it douchey! But don’t take our word for it, give it a listen! We’ll probably have one more Speed Read next week before resuming regular episodes, so be sure to subscribe so you can get them as soon as they post!

 

Table Reads Ep. 30 - H20 SPEED READ

Released on Tuesday, January 3rd 2017 @ 9:20AM

Happy 2017, everyone! We’re still off for the holidays, so we have a Speed Read for you: A shorter script that comes in shorter than our usual episoides, just to remind you that we exist! This script is called H20, sort for Hollywood 20, the movie theater that both Shawn and Jimie spent years working at. When this unfinished script was discovered floating around on a hard drive, no one could remember having written it, but as the reading progresses it becomes imminently clear that Shawn was behind it. Not enough to finish it, but whatever. Enjoy this Speed Read and we’ll be back soon with a new feature!

 

Table Reads ep. 29 - Ocean Child

Released on Tuesday, December 27th 2016 @ 6:00AM

Trevor and Shawn are out of town for the Holidays, so we recorded some short subject, quick episodes to tide you over on such occasions that we’re calling Speed Reads. This was to be the first of them, but it ended up coming in at the length of a regular episode, so we’re posting it as a regular episode. But lucky you, it’s just one part! This is a short film that Trevor wrote and even mostly filmed back in about 2000. But it was never completed so you get to experience it as a podcast. Remember this moment, because you’ll be telling your children about it.  And when you’re done listening to this episode, try to imagine this stretched out into a 160-Page feature! Because THAT’S the next thing we’re recording! Oh, it’s gonna be glorious. And if you’d like to read alon [...]

 

Table Reads ep. 28 - Carnivore FINALE

Released on Tuesday, December 20th 2016 @ 10:25PM

Hey everyone, it’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for, the SHOCKING* conclusion of Carnivore! That’s right, it’s finally time to find out what’s going on with John and the soup kitchen, who’s for dinner and just who the Hell Rex Mundi really is. Strap in, it’s gonna be hack-a-licious! *In this instance “shocking” should be taken to mean “absolutely telegraphed every step of the way starting on page one.”

 

Table Reads Ep. 27 - Carnivore Part 4

Released on Wednesday, December 14th 2016 @ 11:06AM

Welcome to the latest installment of Table Reads for the penultimate reading of Carnivore by the Wachowskis. Here, we see the script’s downward progression in quality and not-suck-itude continue, as… Okay, I don’t remember what happens in this episode. We recorded it like a month ago and I haven’t had time to re-listen to it. YOU’LL JUST HAVE TO BE SURPRISED.

 

Table Reads Ep. 26 - Carnivore Part 3

Released on Tuesday, December 6th 2016 @ 6:00AM

Okay, NOW things are getting good! Which, as you should know by now, means bad. This is the spisode where the script (Carnivore by the Wachowskis) gets pretty ridiculous. It is pretty great fun and we’re glad to have you join us for the fun. With special guest Jimie Williams! And remember, if you hate this podcast, click subscribe. Oh, boy, do we hate when people do that!

 

Table Reads Ep. 25 - Carnivore Part 2

Released on Tuesday, November 29th 2016 @ 6:00AM

Welcome back to part 2 of Carnivore by the Wachowskis… Part 1 was actually better than anticipated and didn’t leave too much room for mockery. But not to worry, Part 2 improves… by which I mean, worstens. Which is more fun! With special guest Jimie Williams! Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving (or, if you’re not in the US: Thursday)! Also, please subscribe. Pretty please. Someone told me begging works. No, it wasn’t a woman, why do you ask?

 

Table Reads Ep. 24 - Carnivore Part 1

Released on Tuesday, November 22nd 2016 @ 6:00AM

It’s a NEW SCRIPT!! This week, we start reading the first, unfulfilled script by The Wachowski Brothers (at the time) Larry and Andy (now Lana and Lilly).  The script is called Carnivore and has never been unleashed on the world… until now. Join us as we learn that, yes, even successful filmmakers like the Wachowskis can start their careers thinking they’re far more clever than they actually are. Listen as they lay the most glaringly obvious foreshadowing in the history of cinema. With special guest Jimie Williams! And don’t forget to subscribe!

 

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Friends of Rogue Intel: The Earth Collective - Perhaps the next best thing to Firefly!

Greetings from the Rogue Intel HQ.  Duff here.  We've had Mike Troup on the Prime podcast before, but wanted to make a special mention of his podcast: The Earth Collective.

The Podcast

The Earth Collective is an epic story, told through the eyes of... read more

Episode 1

What did You guys think of Episode One?

I'm already at work on episode Two, but what do you want to see going forward?

 

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