Table Reads

Two assholes read screenplays that never made it to the big screen. Some of these screenplays were works by these two and some are professional works that just never made it.
 
The one unifying characteristic of all of these scripts is that they're BAD. As such, this podcast is about more than just reading scripts, these two brave microphone jockeys also tirelessly mock the things they read, often with the help of their friends.

Hosted by: Trevor Thompson • Shawn McBee

Produced by: Trevor Thompson


Table Reads

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Table Reads Ep. 30 - H20 SPEED READ

Released on Tuesday, January 3rd 2017 @ 9:20AM

Happy 2017, everyone! We’re still off for the holidays, so we have a Speed Read for you: A shorter script that comes in shorter than our usual episoides, just to remind you that we exist! This script is called H20, sort for Hollywood 20, the movie theater that both Shawn and Jimie spent years working at. When this unfinished script was discovered floating around on a hard drive, no one could remember having written it, but as the reading progresses it becomes imminently clear that Shawn was behind it. Not enough to finish it, but whatever. Enjoy this Speed Read and we’ll be back soon with a new feature!

 

Table Reads ep. 29 - Ocean Child

Released on Tuesday, December 27th 2016 @ 6:00AM

Trevor and Shawn are out of town for the Holidays, so we recorded some short subject, quick episodes to tide you over on such occasions that we’re calling Speed Reads. This was to be the first of them, but it ended up coming in at the length of a regular episode, so we’re posting it as a regular episode. But lucky you, it’s just one part! This is a short film that Trevor wrote and even mostly filmed back in about 2000. But it was never completed so you get to experience it as a podcast. Remember this moment, because you’ll be telling your children about it.  And when you’re done listening to this episode, try to imagine this stretched out into a 160-Page feature! Because THAT’S the next thing we’re recording! Oh, it’s gonna be glorious. And if you’d like to read alon [...]

 

Table Reads ep. 28 - Carnivore FINALE

Released on Tuesday, December 20th 2016 @ 10:25PM

Hey everyone, it’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for, the SHOCKING* conclusion of Carnivore! That’s right, it’s finally time to find out what’s going on with John and the soup kitchen, who’s for dinner and just who the Hell Rex Mundi really is. Strap in, it’s gonna be hack-a-licious! *In this instance “shocking” should be taken to mean “absolutely telegraphed every step of the way starting on page one.”

 

Table Reads Ep. 27 - Carnivore Part 4

Released on Wednesday, December 14th 2016 @ 11:06AM

Welcome to the latest installment of Table Reads for the penultimate reading of Carnivore by the Wachowskis. Here, we see the script’s downward progression in quality and not-suck-itude continue, as… Okay, I don’t remember what happens in this episode. We recorded it like a month ago and I haven’t had time to re-listen to it. YOU’LL JUST HAVE TO BE SURPRISED.

 

Table Reads Ep. 26 - Carnivore Part 3

Released on Tuesday, December 6th 2016 @ 6:00AM

Okay, NOW things are getting good! Which, as you should know by now, means bad. This is the spisode where the script (Carnivore by the Wachowskis) gets pretty ridiculous. It is pretty great fun and we’re glad to have you join us for the fun. With special guest Jimie Williams! And remember, if you hate this podcast, click subscribe. Oh, boy, do we hate when people do that!

 

Table Reads Ep. 25 - Carnivore Part 2

Released on Tuesday, November 29th 2016 @ 6:00AM

Welcome back to part 2 of Carnivore by the Wachowskis… Part 1 was actually better than anticipated and didn’t leave too much room for mockery. But not to worry, Part 2 improves… by which I mean, worstens. Which is more fun! With special guest Jimie Williams! Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving (or, if you’re not in the US: Thursday)! Also, please subscribe. Pretty please. Someone told me begging works. No, it wasn’t a woman, why do you ask?

 

Table Reads Ep. 24 - Carnivore Part 1

Released on Tuesday, November 22nd 2016 @ 6:00AM

It’s a NEW SCRIPT!! This week, we start reading the first, unfulfilled script by The Wachowski Brothers (at the time) Larry and Andy (now Lana and Lilly).  The script is called Carnivore and has never been unleashed on the world… until now. Join us as we learn that, yes, even successful filmmakers like the Wachowskis can start their careers thinking they’re far more clever than they actually are. Listen as they lay the most glaringly obvious foreshadowing in the history of cinema. With special guest Jimie Williams! And don’t forget to subscribe!

 

Table Reads ep. 23 - Asylum: Batman vs. Superman 2003 Part 8 (Finale)

Released on Tuesday, November 15th 2016 @ 6:00AM

Batman v Superman, Dawn of Justice was re-unleashed on the world this summer, in the form of an even longer pile of garbage, so the time seems ripe to visit what might have been! To that end, we present Asylum: Batman vs. Superman! This was a script from 2002 that was meant for a 2003 release. There are some tiny seeds of what would become BvS:DoJ but it is VASTLY different and, if we may get all preachy for a moment: seems to actually get who these characters are.This is another feature and you’ve probably noticed by now that we stop to mock shit a lot and digress more than we should, so it takes a while. This is THE FINAL PART! You did it! You reached the end!!!

 

Table Reads ep. 22 - Asylum: Batman vs. Superman 2003 Part 7

Released on Tuesday, November 8th 2016 @ 6:00AM

Batman v Superman, Dawn of Justice was re-unleashed on the world this summer, in the form of an even longer pile of garbage, so the time seems ripe to visit what might have been! To that end, we present Asylum: Batman vs. Superman! This was a script from 2002 that was meant for a 2003 release. There are some tiny seeds of what would become BvS:DoJ but it is VASTLY different and, if we may get all preachy for a moment: seems to actually get who these characters are.This is another feature and you’ve probably noticed by now that we stop to mock shit a lot and digress more than we should, so it takes a while. This is part 7.

 

Table Reads ep. 21 - Asylum: Batman vs. Superman 2003 Part 6

Released on Tuesday, November 1st 2016 @ 7:00AM

Batman v Superman, Dawn of Justice was re-unleashed on the world this summer, in the form of an even longer pile of garbage, so the time seems ripe to visit what might have been! To that end, we present Asylum: Batman vs. Superman! This was a script from 2002 that was meant for a 2003 release. There are some tiny seeds of what would become BvS:DoJ but it is VASTLY different and, if we may get all preachy for a moment: seems to actually get who these characters are.This is another feature and you’ve probably noticed by now that we stop to mock shit a lot and digress more than we should, so it takes a while. This is part 6.

 

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